Injuries

OMG, I have been so accident prone lately. The latest in my ongoing drama. Kitchen knife stab wound to the palm of my hand. Yep, good one. I was pitting an avocado when the avocado slipped out just as I went to stab it. Instead, I stabbed my palm. Not that big of deal, but I couldn't move my middle finger. So, I cleaned it and iced it. Went to bed. Next morning, lots of pain. So, after talking to my doctor's office, I was told to go to the hospital's Urgent Care. Joy. They wanted me to go for fear of tendon damage. As I understand, there is a small window of time to treat hand injuries like that. Got lucky, the doctor said I just had a small hemotomia and swelling. The finger was able to move, just painful. So, I got more Vicodin and on my way. He said it would be fine when the swelling went down. :) It already feels much better.

I am so tired of being hurt or in pain all the time. EH! I just want to feel good again. Oh and of course the middle finger is my dystonic finger.

Crosses finger that this next week will be better.

Good news today ... I won a free 30 minute stress release accupunture session. :) I've been wanting to check that out for relief of pain and stress. Now, here is my opportunity. YAY!

Speech

Today, I realized how much my voice has changed. When my daughter was born, I really didn't have much trouble saying her name. Today, I was introducing her to someone and had to say it 3 times to just get her to understand. I almost starting crying when I looked back and noticed that it has been a problem for awhile. I get so frustrated. I have even noticed that my wife doesn't hear half of what I say anymore. I think it comes out so mumbled at times, she doesn't know that I am talking to her. This really hurts dealing with speech. The physical pain is nothing compared to emotional pain I deal with. Sometimes, I just want to curl up in a hole and never talk again. But I have to work on this for my daughter.

Thanks for the support

I just wanted to pop on here to thank everyone for their support. Without support, this condition would be even more difficult to deal with. The hardest lesson in all of this for me has been to learn to ask for help. I was reminded of this again today. My daughter and I have been at the neighborhood pool the past 2 days with the neighbors. It's been awesome. However, I got a little burnt on my shoulders and back because I didn't ask for help again. I can't even put sunscreen on my own shoulders let alone the back. I should have asked my neighbor to do it, but no. I was afraid even though I know she would have. Eh

Frustration

On top of everything else, I broke a toe on my right foot the other day. I'm just grateful it's not my dystonic foot. That would be miserable. Things have been better in some ways and worse in others lately. I was actually able to write a message in my grandfathers birthday card for the first time in a long time. That is huge for me. On the other hand, I've been taking more of my Clonezpam and even Vicodin lately for my foot. It has been curling very tight and is painful. I really need to get out more too. Excercise hurts but in the long run is very good for me. Walking just for walking sake is very hard, but when my daughter and I go to the animal park or Disneyland, I do better. I think it's the distraction. Guess it's good that I am planning a trip to Disneyland later this week. :)

Spasms

Lately I have been getting spasms in my left leg. It affects my lower leg from toes to knee. It can be very painful, but at least it doesn't last long. I had heard of Dystonic spasms, but hadn't really experienced them until lately. It's kinda like getting a Charlie Horse and a back spasm combined but worse. If you have ever had back spasms, you will understand. Not fun.

On another note, I'm having more balance issues again. My left leg has been a real problem lately. It curls almost constantly right now.

The news and stuff

It's been so great seeing so many stories of Dystonia patients in the news lately. First there was the lady on Oprah, then she was on the Today show and now I understand Dateline did a story on a boy who has it. This is AWESOME. We definitely need to get the word out there.

I wish they would do more on Focal dystonias. A lot of people don't realize I have it. They think of the cervical dystonias or the generalized dystonias, but forget about those of us with focal. It's just as hard for us. With my left leg being an issue, I feel like I am drunk half the time. I think people see me and assume I've had too much to drink. Ask my wife, I hardly ever drink.

I have been getting so frustrated again. I'm having to learn things all over again. Now that it has spread to the left hand as well, I got the botox this go around there too. It definitely took away the pain and makes typing easier, I now have the weakness to deal with. Before, I just switched to the left hand for everything. Now, simple things, like opening a can of Pepsi is a new challenge. I am amazed at those things.

And now, the new challenge. My 2 year old daughter is noticing that I can't keep my hands open. Whenever she tries to hand me things, my fingers just curl inward. She doesn't understand it. Try explaining that to a 2 year old. It breaks my heart because sometimes she is frustrated by it.

Well, time to hit the hay as 7am rolls around quickly. Hopefully sleep comes quickly too.

It's a good day!

Today is starting off really good. For the first time in a long while, my hands feel pretty good. I actually have pretty good use of both hands. I've been able to type easily without a great deal of pain. I just need to wake up so I can enjoy it. My daughter woke up an hour and half earlier than normal and I'm having a hard time waking up. Suppose I should just jump in the shower and go to the store. I still struggle with wanting to go out. The dystonia in my foot affects my balance. I'm very self conscious of it too. Because focal dystonia is not obvious to the normal person, I worry about what people think.I have to learn to get over it.